How to Manage Stress for Aspiring Couples
Childless Couples face an immense pressure from family, friends & Society and over a period of time they start feeling something very serious is wrong with them. Here is advice from some of the most respected psychologists who work with couples with fertility problems.
1) Recognising & Accepting the Problem – Fertility problem is the most difficult challenge a couple can face & often we hesitate to accept the problem, acknowledging the problem is key & first step towards solution.
Its normal to feel stressed & frustrated but facing & accepting your emotions can help you overcome it.
2) Don't blame yourself – Often we get angry on our self or criticise our self for not listening to voice in our head saying “I shouldn’t have waited so long”. Avoid blaming yourself & avoid all negative thoughts & try and bring positive thoughts in your mind.
The most important is to avoid the vicious circle of negative thoughts which can only make the matters worse for you.
When you start feeling like you "should have" or "could have," remind yourself that your fertility problem is not your fault. Even if you could have made different decisions in the past, they're behind you. Concentrate on your future.
3) Help & work with your partner as a team – You & your partner should help each other giving emotional support (and definitely not blame each other).
This doesn't mean you need to feel the same thing at the same time — that's one of the most common difficulties for couples facing fertility problems. It does mean Listening & paying attention to what your partner's going through. "If you're taking care of each other emotionally, you can unite to fight the problem.
Educate yourself - Read online (www.akrutiivf.com) as much as you can about fertility problems and ask questions of your doctor and other couples in similar situations.
Staying educated is very important when you're dealing with a fertility problem because the treatment technologies behind the procedures are complicated and only a handful of clinics can provide advance & effective treatment.
4) Set limits on how long you're willing to try — No one can tell you when to stop trying to conceive, that's a decision you need to make with your partner and fertility specialist doctor but you'll feel more in control of your life if you start thinking in advance about how far you're willing to go to get pregnant. Listening & trusting the fertility specialist doctor is the key.
5) Plan your finances for treatment — An in vitro fertilization (IVF) is not very cheap procedure & total cost depends on patient’s body response & how complicated the case is, no wonder couples feel anxious about money if they have not plan their finances. Some couples feel the treatment cost is little high but we need to understand we are taking help to create a life & such advance treatment will cost some money. If we can spend money on foreign holiday & expensive electronic gadgets then why treatment cost for a precious child seems high.
6) Share your story online with people having similar fertility problems — Society often fails to recognize the grief caused by infertility, so those denied parenthood tend to hide their sorrow, which only increases their feelings of shame and isolation.
"Finding other people who are going through the same thing can help you see that fertility problems are widespread and your disappointment is understandable,
Share stories and advice about fertility Problems online with various support groups.
7) Say no to baby-focused activities — If certain gatherings or celebrations are too painful for you, if all your siblings had babies in the last two years, say, or you keep getting invited to baby showers give yourself permission to decline the invitation or at least to have a good cry afterward.
8) Balance optimism and realism — You need to be optimistic to go through a procedure, Positive mindset plays a vital role in treatment probably as much s the medicines. But listen to the fertility specialist doctor carefully & do not build unrealistic emotional pressure on the doctor & more importantly on yourself. Try and understand the Doctor is doing everything with full faith to solve your problem but he is a human too.
9) Taking care of you & pursuing other interests — Being treated for a fertility problem can feel like a full- or at least part-time job, so it's important to keep up with some of the activities or hobbies that bring you pleasure.
It won't be easy, but look for ways to take care of youself; you can try various things like getting a massage, a facial, having a manicure etc.
The idea is to do anything that can give you relief from the focus on fertility treatment.
10) If your old activities are not interesting — maybe trying other new diversions like or a dance/music class painting class, or something else that's always tempted you.
And remember, laughter is one of the best healers. See a funny movie, head out to a comedy club, and reread your favourite funny novel.